Yo yo! It’s that time of the week. Ja’Crispy’s here.
As you’ve seen yesterday, I have a chicken. As in a toy. And it makes a lot of noise. It disturbs the humans. I like it. It was given by my uncles to whom the humans offered a complete drum set, to their elder son. He made a lot of noise with it. Now it was payback time. I like their style.
Well coming back to the chicken, I love my chicken. It has a beak of a chicken. It hasn’t got feathers, though. It has a comb of a chicken. It hasn’t got the hackles of a chicken, though. It has the wattle of a chicken. It hasn’t got the cackling of a chicken, though.
It disappeared. Mysteriously in the middle of the night. I had it when I went to bed after going for my late night piss. She looked worried last night but then again she always has the same face. She did say she was going for a walk and buy cigarettes. Maybe life was too hard on her and she couldn’t take being my chicken. Or she didn’t like how my farts smelt. Either way, I was chickenless this morning up until I got an email. “I’ve got your chicken, Gertrude. One thousand beef bones or she will go featherless”. She is already featherless, these guys are amateurs. What?! Gertrude was kidnapped. I need to investigate this further. Need to go and call my friend Walker, the Texas Ranger and we will solve this. On next week’s episode of the “The Chicken That Got Away”. Either way, it’s all Trump’s fault (I am going to start blaming him for everything, it seems trendy now).
“Bwok, bwok” (I guess that’s what a proper chicken says; my Gertrude says “F*ck off” when she wakes up).
Over and out.