leg lift pee.

Yo yo!
It’s that time of the week. Ja’Crispy’s here.

I have been redecorating stuff as you’ve seen from yesterday’s video. My bro wasn’t happy when he got home. Tried explaining that my back hurts (No it doesn’t. My bed is great. I just don’t dig it anymore. No enough room for the ladies.) but he didn’t go for it. I still tried to ask for a new one explaining that we need to buy products from “foreigners” (not from the USA nor from Russia; but do keep the vodka coming please, and we’re fine with our Scotch whiskey; no Bourbon stuff, thank you very much, Mr. T). If he wants a wall, we will give him one. Nobody enters that country but nothing leaves. Just Taylor Swift. Oh, and peanut M&Ms (they make me fart but never mind).

I think the crazy human is in redecoration mode as well. She’s always moving things around (where da f*ck is my shaving cream?!), looking online for new furniture and home accessories and repurposing the stuff that we already own (one of these days all of our wine bottles will be flower vases; she is like a sponge, absorbing all the alcohol in da house; no worries, I have my stash of vodka). She is never happy. She always wants to do stuff. She’s like that bunny on the batteries commercial. But without the cute and fluffy face. When she’s angry, she’s damn angry. All of my cute looks bribing strategies go out the window. Boy, this woman is a lotta work.

Oh yeah, I learnt a new move, the leg lift pee. Still trying to get the hang of it. Sometimes pee just comes out really fast (thanks, beer) and I just do it standing, midway lifting my leg. The crazy human doesn’t dig it.
I am one of the big boys now (*tucking my balls now, on a Michael Jackson type of move).

Need to go and buy knickers. It’s that time of the month and I am afraid to ask where did she f*cking put my knickers. Or I can just go commando style. Either way, just proceed with caution and only speak the necessary.
Over and out.

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